Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim

If I had the grace to say that, I would. However, it is Nora Ephron who put it so gallantly.

I would have just done a Beyonce and ask (in a rather undignified way) “Who run the world?!”

But whether or not you are running the world, March 8 is International Women’s Day, and for that, let us celebrate being women.

Let me tell you about myself: I am a somewhat Obsessive-Compulsive Type A Millennial.
I am also Asian, a nerd, and I advocate for the LGBT community.
Oh, and I grew up on Disney, but no, getting married and having kids isn’t on my priority list.

Where am I going with this? In so many ways, I am the type of person who could definitely be discriminated against.

Type A? Bitch.
Asian nerd? Well duh, you’re Asian. (No, I’m a bookworm, not a math or science whiz, deal with it.)
LGBT equality supporter? Gay. (For the record, I don’t think I am, but if there’s anything, I could be Bi.)

Not planning to put down roots? But you’re a woman, there’s nothing more rewarding. (As if I need to get pregnant to validate my femininity.)

What’s difficult about being a woman even in this day and age, is that you have to fit a certain mold, or live a certain life. Sure, for the most part, women are given their freedom, and the fight for gender equality is still ongoing.

And that’s where things are still wrong. Why is it that even in these modern times, there is still a fight for gender equality?

If a man takes charge, he’s being a man and doing what’s expected of him. He’s a leader. If it were a woman taking charge and telling you what to do, she’s a crazy b*tch.

If a man is knowledgeable about certain things, well, good for him for sharing his thoughts and ideas. If a woman knows more, she’s a competitive c*nt who is trying to embarrass the males of the species.

Being gay could be appalling to homophobics, but ask them if they are okay with having sex with a couple of lesbians and they’d be okay with it because girl on girl action is sexy.

NO! it’s because sexism, damnit.

And the last one? The last one is the worst because a “man” could be a bachelor at 40 and nobody would bat an eyelash. If you’re a woman in your early 20s and single, people want to pair you up with anyone. “Time to lower those standards!” By the time you’re in your mid- to late twenties, they panic. And when you’re 30 and unmarried you’re going to be the crazy cat lady.

God forbid if you’re not a mom, you just won’t have a fulfilled life.

Oh no, world, I am not falling for that. I am the heroine of my life, and I will write it as it is.


Being type A does not necessarily mean I’m a bossy obsessive compulsive. I take charge because if I don’t, things won’t get done on schedule and I don’t know about you but time is kind of very important.

I am smart because I stock up on books and read news and have a wide array of interests. There is more to being a woman than just nod and say “yes” to whatever men have to say.

It’s the twenty-first century, stop sexualizing women. The difficult part is that a lot of women don’t have enough respect for themselves and find that being sexual gets them the attention they think they need. I am talking about those people who need to post provocative photos on their social media networks just to get a lot of “likes” and lewd comments. And EL James, shame on you and your book.

And for those who ever dreamed of a threesome with a couple of lesbians? Put it this way, your girlfriend invites a random dude to have sex with both of you. If that makes you cringe, then why the heck do you think a threesome with gay girls is okay?

Finally, no, being a woman does not mean I have to serve a husband and be a mom. Why would I want to spend my days being someone’s wife when I’m never really domestic in the first place? Why would I want to bring a screaming baby to see the dismal state of the world?

My definition of a fulfilling life is putting as much into it as I possibly could by experiencing the world, not be stuck at home and taking care of a husband and kids (although I am not saying I am against that completely. I grew up on Disney, I like that definition of Happy Ever After, too).

And if taking care of others is the question, I am a 23-year-old who has already changed lives, and not in a “Thank you for being my friend” kind of way, but in a “you inspired me” and “you helped me through the worst days” kind of way from people I don’t even know.

I have saved men more than I needed them to save me.

So no, being a woman does not mean I have to fit in to the mold that the world has offered me to fit into. No matter how much you’d like to portray me as the weaker sex, I am stronger than you believe me to be.

I am a woman, I am the writer of my own story, I am the heroine of the life I am living, and I am more than just a pretty face. It would do you well to understand that.

March 8 is International Women’s Day, and for every woman out there who feels like she needs to fit in a certain way of living because society tells her so, it’s the twenty-first century.

It’s time to break the mold.

Happy International Women’s Day!


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