I feel melancholic these days

I know I haven’t written in a while…

Mostly because I feel melancholic. Not sad, just — I don’t know. I wish I’m not so far away from my best friends. I mean, yes, I love my Cebu friends, but there are some people, you know, who were with me during my most troubled times and I wish I can just poke them awake or go up to their rooms, or call them for breakfast or lunch or take them out for a long walk — those days were the ones when I felt most centered.

I am spinning.

I’m not sure what’s happening. I mean, salary aside (HA!) I am pretty content with my life. I like being able to do what I want, I like having time to explore other things. (I mean, this year, I already went to more yoga classes than I did in the last three years!)

But for most of the time, I feel melancholic and I just wish my best friends are here. A tirade of why I feel the world is on my shoulders just don’t make for good conversation when we’re all trying to find ways to get our life on track and when we’re all just trying to keep going.

I am in free fall.

Sometimes I just want to escape — things can’t be too bad in other patches of the same Earth, right? This isn’t my rock-bottom, it’s just that I am no longer emotionally charged. I am too tired to care about everything else. I want to jump to free fall and feel my body crash in the ocean. That would be exhilarating if I were’t so scared of heights.


Or maybe I’ve been watching too much Grey’s Anatomy.

Too much dark and twisty there.

The Lost Art of Letter Writing


(c) Tumblr

As part of my freshman English course, I had to write to a pen pal — this is in the early 2000s, so even then letter writing was a slowly dying form. I absolutely love writing, but when you’re twelve and a freshman in high school, writing to a random person is all sorts of awkward.

So in my letter, I explained in great lengths that I had to write to a pen pal as part of a class requirement, and not that I’m a stalker or anything of the sort. The letter was then sent to my mom’s friend’s daughter halfway around the world, who, as it turned out, was only a few months younger than I.

I don’t know how seriously my classmates took that assignment, but I was relieved, nonetheless, when I got a reply (although I suspected that her mother forced her to write back). Leia and I continued writing each other for a year, I think, way past the requirement for class.

But like I mentioned, this was in the early 2000s, which means that the art of letter-writing was already dying, so eventually, we went on to email each other instead of write pen-on-paper — and pretty soon, by the time I got to college, we’ve been communicating through social media, like everyone else on the planet.

However, my friends in college are amazing, and are pretty sold on the handwritten notes and letters front. It’s not unusual for me to receive “Have a good day” notes from my friends, random doodles, and even origami left on my desk.

Nothing beats getting actual mail though. Especially mail in the form of letters — no other material things, just letters about the goings-on in someone’s life, and musings asking how you are, too.

I have been wondering how humans forgot the art of letter writing, but as it turns out, not only is a text or email faster in getting messages across the seas, it’s also economical. Apparently, today, it costs a lot to send a postcard to another country, at least, from here in the Philippines.

Okay, not that expensive, but for 120PhP for a postcard, it’s not actually reasonable, considering you get the length of a tweet on one of those things.




Photo: phlpost.gov

Costs aside, I do want to bring back the art of letter writing. Maybe one postcard a month somewhere around the globe?

An Appeal To My Filipino Readers

Hi Everyone,

It’s been a while since I posted about suicide prevention, but last night, a video has been going around showing a person who fell from the third floor of a building.

When asked, the person who posted the video said that she will not take it down because she had every right to post it, and that it’s making rounds in the media anyway. She even LAUGHED at the person who tried to kill himself.

I appeal to you — if you’re here, you know that suicide is a big deal, not a laughing matter. If you’re here, you know that this is against all that we stand for as warriors who are trying to fight against suicide — so please, please, please if you come across the video, please don’t watch it, don’t react, don’t comment.



Hopeline, Philippines’ Suicide Prevention Hotline, may be reached at (02) 804-4637; 0917-5584673; and 2919 for Globe and TM subscribers

La La Land


La La Land | © Summit Entertainment

This musical about a passionate jazz musician and an aspiring actress chronicled in the events of the year they meet and fall in love in Los Angeles, at a time when they are chasing the dreams they have been struggling to reach. The film won seven staggering awards at the Golden Globes, and was marked as one of the most notable films in 2016.

STARRING: Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone, JK Simmons, John Legend
DIRECTED BY: Damien Chazelle
WRITTEN BY: Damien Chazelle
MUSIC BY: Justin Hurwitz
RELEASED BY: Summit Entertainment

PLOT: 4/5 face value, 2.5/5 if my inner nerd kicks in

Aspiring actress and jazz musician meet and fall in love in a nostalgic version of LA, complete with stories of struggle, and charming musical numbers.

Face value, it was a great movie. It made me cry, mostly because I have my own version of knowing how it feels to not be able to end up with my soulmate. (Part of the reason I was crying during the movie was the fact that I just knew so-so would have loved to watch it too). It’s sad, it’s nostalgic, it’s endearing. It made you hope, it made you wish, it made you believe in a better world with considerably less traffic and less talk of kale.

Mostly, it appeals to the people who wear their hearts on their sleeves and who look at the world through-rose colored glasses.


It is also a white-washed version of Hollywood with amazing lack of diversity. Considering how jazz originated from Blacks, it is sad to note that the only black person in the cast was a washed-up musician who sold out.

Also, LA is one of the most expensive cities to live, there is no way an aspiring actress who is a barista by day could afford that amazing apartment at the beginning of the film AND a Prius. Seriously.

CAST: 3.5/5

Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling look good together. They are beautifully awkward and endearing, and despite not being actual singers, they made it work in a musical (just, you know, don’t expect five-octave ranges or anything of that sort). However, lost points due to previously mentioned lack of diversity. LA is one hell of a melting pot and it didn’t show. Also, it needed more JK Simmons.


I grew up listening to jazz on Sunday mornings and on road trips (hi, dad!) so I pretty much got an ear for it, although I’m not one to research on the names of musicians and song titles (believe me I can’t name the albums and song titles and musicians in my favorite bands!). While I love the jazzy parts of it, my biggest disappointment is the fact that Sebastian’s (Gosling) song is…well, not actually jazz as he defined and fought for in the movie.

Still great for easy listening, though.



*I don’t usually add them in the reviews, but cinematography is brilliant and costumes are lovely in their brightness and essence: they had been remarkable for this film, so kudos to that, too.