Love & Clichés

[This is the piece I wrote during an Intro to Spoken Word workshop I went to at East, West, earlier today. The theme was arrival and departure.Edited with consideration of the constructive comments from the group. Enjoy. 🙂 ]

There are three things I know in my heart to be true:
One, I loved you.
Two, I still love you.
Three, I will always love you.

You were every love cliché I ever read:
The butterflies in my stomach,
The blood pumping in my veins,
The every thought rushing in my mind.

You were the love story I wanted:
The goosebumps in my skin,
The rush of wind under my wings,
The scorching fire in my blood.

You were the love I wanted.
The love epic stories are made of.

And one day,
When my children and grandchildren ask
About the greatest love I’ve ever had,
I will tell them about you, and who you were to me.

I will tell them about the boy
Who looked at me like I was the one who hung the moon.
I will tell them about the boy
Who held me like I’m the world —
vulnerable and fragile and strong.

I will tell them about the boy
Who loved me so true
The boy who made me feel love
When love was not something I knew.

But the world — the world is such a shitty, shitty place.
Because of all the things it took away
It took away the greatest,
Most epic love I knew.

So when my children and grandchildren will ask one day
What happened to the love that got away,
I will smile and tell them
That things just happen.

Because you were my moon
My sun, and my stars
And more than that,
Honey, you were my heart.

There are three things I know in my heart to be true:
One, I loved you.
Two, I still love you.
Three, I will always love you.

But for all the love we used to have
Things changed, and my world
No longer spun the way it did
When I was with you.

You were every hatred in every story that I’ve ever read
The bottomless pit in my stomach
The anger in my veins,
The every murder I committed in my mind.

You were every villain’s death I ever wanted
The presence that made the hair stand at the back of my neck.
The ice that ran in my blood,
The merciless sun that crumbled my wings
When I wanted to fly.

You were the love I wanted
The love epic stories are made of.
But honey, we were naive
Because even epic love stories have endings.

We saw ours coming a mile away
We refused to accept it
Until fate, cruel fate tore us apart
Leaving me with this angry, sad hole in my heart.

It’s been a few years —
I don’t know where you are,
Who you’re with
What you’re doing.

I don’t even know who you are anymore.
It’s sad, isn’t it when someone
You used to know at the back of your hand
Becomes just another face in the crowd?

My love, so many things went wrong with us
But we know fires that burn twice as bright last half as long,
And we burned ours to the ground
A long, long time ago.

But when someone asks me
Of the greatest love I knew,
I will share with them
The story of me and you.

And the story will say:

“Once upon a time, I met a boy.
There wasn’t much to him.
He doesn’t particularly stand out from the crowd.
He’s smart, but not a genius,
He’s talented, but not a prodigy.
In fact, he was so painfully simple
And so achingly ordinary
You would probably forget him
Soon as he turns away.
But I saw his eyes, and in his eyes,
I saw my world.”

My love, it has been so long,
But I stand here knowing three things.
I will always love you.
I still love you.
I love you.

Sarah Kay & Phil Kaye Live in Cebu!

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Sarah Kay & Phil Kaye: Love Has Arrived in Cebu!

So spoken-word poets Sarah Kay and Phil Kaye came to Cebu, and I almost peed my pants when I found out. Good thing the organizer included me in the list of people to get first tidbits over the event and I got to go.

I was so excited like you wouldn’t believe.

When the day finally came, I timed-in early for work so that I could get to the venue on time, and it’s a great thing my boss is super nice.

They performed my favorite bits (I cried when they did, because all the feels!) and the energy was wonderful. I mean, I loved watching them perform on YouTube, but it is a hundred times better seeing them onstage in person.

Also, I always had this notion that both Sarah and Phil are on the short side, but they were actually really tall! And Phil’s fluff is really fluffier. (John Green would be put to shame.)

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Photo time! Sarah is super nice and Phil is cuter and has fluffier hair in person!

I’m a fan girl, sue me.

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I like literati autographs. 😉

I’ll watch them again next year if they come. Fingers crossed!

Understanding That You Really Cannot Understand Depression

So I saw this video on Upworthy.

This girl, Sabrina, talks on Button Poetry about depression, and explaining depression to someone who can never understand: her mother.

She explains why those who don’t go through depression can never understand what it’s like to be depressed, because those who suffer from it can’t understand it, either.

Listen closely, to what Sabrina has to say, and understand that you’re never going to understand what it’s like, and you probably never would.

But it does not hurt to try.